DEALING WITH INSECURITIES IN RELATIONSHIPS

13 Feb DEALING WITH INSECURITIES IN RELATIONSHIPS

UNDERSTANDING INSECURITIES
We all have insecurities and these come up very much in our interpersonal relationships. My wife has done a series of messages on “Overcoming Insecurities” and “Winning the Identity Battle”, I highly recommend these. The foundation of this problem is the fallen nature of man. When Adam and Eve fell from glory, the first sign of their state was fear when they heard the voice of God. Fear is the foundation of all insecurities. Fear of failure, fear of losing out, fear of the unknown, and all aspects of fear have their root in the Adamic nature. In interpersonal relationships, these fears show up as insecurities. Why are we usually insecure? We are human, we have our fears and doubts; and we are not usually sure what lies ahead of us. After getting born again, we need to reorder our priorities. We cannot allow ourselves to keep on living in the fears that are rooted in the old man- Adam’s nature. We can only stop fear when we let our faith in God, define our lives. Fear and Faith are reciprocals. Feeding one, leads to starving the other. Choose to feed your faith and starve your doubts and fears. The only reason we can live outside the boundaries of fear is because we believe that God is there in the future and in our peculiar experiences. Faith believes that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. There is diligence in seeking God and allowing His Will and Word to influence every area of our lives. Becoming strong in faith is the answer to our insecurities. We love one another with the love of God and our faith is very involved.

IDENTITY BATTLE
One of the greatest battles in dealing with insecurities is the identity battle. Who are you? What do you have? Where are you going? What are you here for? We need to develop our confidence in who we are in Christ, what we have in Him and what we can do through Him. This is the basis of a life free of insecurities. We all grow from one dimension to another. Too many link their identities to their achievements and possessions. They measure their worth by their possessions and the opinions of others. The Scripture that God used to deliver me from a major insecurity problem was John 5:44. It reads thus in the amplified translation:“How is it possible for you to believe [how can you learn to believe], you who [are content to seek and] receive praise and honour and glory from one another, and yet do not seek the praise and honour and glory which come from Him who alone is God?” Too many times we unconsciously seek these things from one another without considering God’s opinion on the matter. It brought a major deliverance to me when I began to internalise the reality of this Scripture. I am still interested in people, I love them, but I no longer seek the glory that comes from them as I used to. At least, I am working towards this as a reality in my life. When such honour comes I appreciate it, receive it and give God the glory for making it possible, but I do not try to hunt for it. When you serve the Lord Jesus, the Father will honour you and when He does, men will be his instruments to bring honour to you. We are encouraged to count some worthy of double honour, for their work in the Kingdom. When we receive any honour, we are expected to channel it for the improvement of other human beings and give God all the glory. Leave your honour in the hands of God. We will have to learn to leave our fame, glory and all such earthly pursuits in the hands of God. Sometime ago, in my interaction with God, this question popped up in my heart: “Would you rather obey Me or be celebrated?” I believe the Spirit of God asked me in my heart this question. My answer was “Lord, I thought that obedience to you would lead to celebration” The answer was, “No, not necessarily.” Many who served God in their times got celebrated after they died, not necessarily when they were alive and some never got celebrated at all. The celebrity status has become what many seek after today even in their little ways amongst friends and peers. These are all from the world not from God. We need to allow God to determine such things in our lives. Just serve Him and do what is right.

John Maxwell says we will all do well and do more if we don’t mind who takes the credit. We need to be contribution-minded and not competition-minded. What you contribute should be your best and done with all your heart. You do this when you value yourself and value who you are in the natural as well as spiritually. Our values should first be intrinsic before extrinsic. Intrinsic values are the values we place on people because they were made in the image of God not because of any achievements they have. Extrinsic values are the values based on external achievements. When we do not value God’s creation intrinsically, we stand the chance of not pleasing the Creator. The poor and the rich are so valued equally on this basis. All of this will lead to understanding the principle of self respect. The values we uphold, when they are based on time-tested principles of the Word of God, will cause us to demonstrate respect for ourselves and hence enable us to have mutual respect for others.

The Bible says young people should serve God while they are still able. Let us learn to serve God with the right motives and focus. When motives are wrong, our activities will not be pleasing unto God. The right motive should be our love for God, even as we obey Him. If we let our love for God and his love for us take the first priority in our lives, we will have taken the huge step in dealing with our insecurities. The right focus for our lives should be to glorify God as we look unto the perfect example who glorified the Father- Jesus Christ. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen!

Shalom!
Jesus is Lord!